To the Mad Flagger who Deemed my Most Recent Post Obscene

Dear Mad Flagger,

In a way, in a sense, kind of: you're correct. It was obscene. Not the post, but the "deposit." It was obscene and offensive and just plain wrong, which is why--if you put yourself in my shoes and empathize with that poor toilet bowl--you'll understand the need for an apology.

Also, don't hate, homey. You too can produce something similarly demonic. All you have to do is drink a case of Monster Energy drink (sugar free) and eat a few jars of dill pickles. It's not that hard. Eat, drink and wait, and in three days, you'll give birth to Damien.

All I ask is that you don't subject that poor toilet to any further torment.

With kind regard,
E.