Friday, May 29, 2009

My Dream for Sedona

Dear Sedona,

I was chillin' in my hot tub earlier this evening, easing my muscles, and the Shiraz and the deadlifts and the squats really got the best of me. I sort of passed out right there and fell asleep.

Well, I had the most erotic dream, and I feel I must share it with you.

I was outside the trailer park on 89A where all the Mexicans live. I was outside the park, but somehow, lucidly, the embodiment of the entire town of Sedona. I mean, I was the town. It seems pretty stupid, but shit, what doesn't seem stupid when you're dreaming? There was this one time I dreamed I was a fish swimming upstream in Angelina Jolie's vagina. Not logical. Fun, but not logical. Anyway, I was outside the trailer park, and I decided that, my city motto of: We are all one (except the Mexicans) was kind of stupid. I decided it was really stupid, actually, and that Mexicans were people, too, and if they died walking across 89A, well shit, that was something I should be upset about.

So, because I was a whole town--just suspend disbelief with me here--I had magical powers, too. Sparks flew from my fingertips as I pointed to various spots in my periphery, and wherever the sparks popped, cropped up the sexiest street lights you ever saw!

One of them grew out of the ground right in front of me, all hot and sexy, coated in Crisco, and as I humped it, Mexicans walked freely to and fro across 89A without fear of dying, like real human beings Sedona gives a shit about, and the world was a better place, because--in the end--this was a place in which Mexicans were people too, and when they died, it actually mattered. Go figure.

Sexy dream, no? I thought it was. Better than my usual dreams of swimming in vaginas and beheading my relatives.

With love,


  1. You are fascinating.

  2. haha, your funny!

  3. Thank god you're alive!
    After 7 days without a post, I could only assume you were taken..
    Taken, for too many mentions of the alien/human/clone/hybrids, UFOs, exposing tourist fronts for what they really are, and Hungrian gangster druglords.. (I know you've never mentioned them, but I've always found it a safe assumption to figure they're involved.. They have a hand in just about everything) I thought maybe you were getting too close..
    I know a guy who happens to be a "breeder", and is often abducted for seed abstraction purposes, because naturally, 40 something, unemployed, speed addicts, on roller blades are considered prime specimens among the female alien elite.. Anyway, I figured intergalactic travel is somewhat expensive, and those ships seem pretty big, so I assume they serve multiple functions, and it seemed logical a breeding craft may also house political prisoners, so I asked him if he would keep an eye out for you the next time they came calling.. But yer back, so I guess its all cool..